'Neeta zara yahan aao' - Neeta come here for a while, 94-year-old would say to her 69-year-old daughter sitting across the room.
'Tum waheen se bolo' - you speak from there itself, the daughter would reply, not wanting to get up so frequently because of an aching back.
'Nahhen yahan aao' - no you come here, insisted the 94-year-old.
'Main yaheen baithee hoon' - I am sitting here, asserts the daughter. And the unending duel goes on witnessed by Ghumakkad every few minutes. Every day.
That was an excerpt of the wordy duel. Both would hold their ground till I intervened. That was my mother-in-law Smt Usha Bhargava (11.11.1929 - 22.2.2024) who passed away recently.
Mom had many facets of her personality. Today, even though she is gone, she continues to live in our hearts. Sharing below few memories of last few years.
Self Help is the Best Help
She would always peel the fruits every morning for breakfast. She had improvised a chopping board on one of the kitchen cabinets so that she could do the peeling and cutting while seated on a chair. She would lend a helping hand while making the pakwan for Diwali. Picture and a short video follows.
She Loved Sweets
Her lunch or dinner would be incomplete without sweets. One is not enough. Lately, she wanted a sweet after breakfast also. See the short video below. Of course during the last month of her life, she had stopped taking any solids as well as liquids. She had her original teeth for all of the 94 years! Remarkable, isn't it?
Spirit of Giving
She would heartily contribute to all community pujas and events. Every year on Diwali and Sankranti, she would ensure that all those who worked at home, were given a gift. Picture below shows Ashok our dhobi, cook Pooja and domestic help Farzana receiving her blessings.
Sharing Her Knowledge
She relished sharing her knowledge with others. Be it a recipe or how to do knitting, she would readily share it. In the video below, she can be seen teaching Farzana, our domestic help, how to do knitting. See the happiness on her face when the learner picks up the skill.
Great-Granny
She lived on to enjoy the company of four great grand-children aged between 19 and 9 years. She loved not only her great grand-children but all the children in the colony. See the pictures and the video below.
Fetish for Cleanliness
She would ensure that her wardrobe, side table, dressing table and puja cabinet were always prim and proper. She would rearrange all the cell phones on a table if lying randomly. After all a Fauji's mother-in-law! Her hair would always be well oiled and braided. Pictures below.
Tech-Savvy Granny
In her 90s, she adapted easily to an iPhone and ear phones. Picture and a short video below.
Her Favourite Spot
The verandah in our house was Mom's favourite spot. She would read the newspaper sitting in bright daylight there. In the evenings, she would watch all the children playing outside. She would also supervise us to prune the plants and branches in the garden from her chair.
Birthdays are Fun
She endured the day-long fatigue on her 90th birthday. With a family lunch for 50 and a dinner for 100 guests, she kept up the smile. Thereafter, she relished the cake on her 91st to 94th birthdays at home surrounded by friends.
Weakened but Not Down
About a month before she passed away, she stopped eating any solids. For next two weeks, she did take some liquids like milk, lassi and coconut water. Her body showed signs of weakness. However, during last 15 days, she had stopped taking the liquids also. How long can you survive on few drops of ORS per day? Our daughter flew down from USA and so did our son from Chennai to be with her. While leaving for Chennai on Sunday, Ankush told her 'Nani, main jaa raha hoon'. She quizzed 'kahan jaa rahe ho?' Not to disappoint her Ankush replied 'Bazar ja raha hoon'. She said 'Paas wale bazaar?' Ankush said yes and left. She waved her hand to say good bye. That was one of the last conversations she had.
Role Interchange in Life
Once she had held both the grand children Ashi and Ankush in her lap. Mom would trim Neeta's finger nails when she was young. With time, these roles have interchanged as in the pictures below.
We owe special thanks to Dr M Sitaram (Cardiologist), Dr CH Mohan Rao (Neurologist and Internal Medicine) and Dr Purna Chandra Rao (General Physician) for taking good care of Mom during last 20 years or so. Dr PC Rao looked after Mom as his own mother. Our gratitude to each one of you.
She went away peacefully with Neeta and Akanksha holding her hands and me at her feet. Her walker awaits her return.
Yaad Ayegi
Ashi has made a short video on her life with the song 'yaad ayegi' in the background. Sharing it here.
Mom, who will peel the fruits now? You lived a full life. Keep blessing us wherever you are.
She has reunited with Papa who had left us 35 years ago.
- Harsh-the-Ghumakkad with Neeta Bhargava/ Secunderabad/ 8th March 2024
Postscript:
What a family friend wrote for Mom:
Aunty: 22.02.24
--------------
She was our beloved Aunty,
Strong as steel, but dealings dainty.
Her smile was so infectious,
That even lawyers would find it judicious.
Residents of our colony, both young and old,
Seeing her, their hands would fold.
" Namaste Aunty ", would be the respected greeting,
On every single occasion of meeting.
Acknowledged by her charming smile,
That would remain in our minds for quite a while.
Today she has left us forever,
Only to be forgotten never.
Surely, we will miss her a lot,
For the affection that we always got.
May she spread her charisma up there,
And allow us to touch her feet in prayer.
Dada.
Air Commodore A Banerjee SC
11th March: Ira Bhargava wrote:
This is such a beautiful tribute to Jiji - so well written - the narration grows on you and one can't leave it midway - just want to know more and more about Jiji and the minute details of her life that we missed out on being so far away from Jiji and you all.
Your narration, the photos and the videos are sometimes funny, sometimes somber and at other times so emotional. Thanks for giving such a vivid description of how she spent her life with you and Neeta and the grand and great grandchildren. We have seen how happy she was with you all and the excellent care you both have taken of her throughout the 37 years of her life with you. well done, Harsh and Neeta.
Jiji for me was not only Ajai's eldest sister but also like a sister to me. She was a jovial person, very active physically and mentally, had interest in so many things: I can sum her up as a person full of life. We would chat on the phone for any length of time and there was a time when she would recount jokes that she had read in that day's newspaper and we would all laugh together. Then came the times when she stopped calling but would be so happy when Ajai or I would call. Gradually that also lessened because she would not understand what we were saying even though she was always so happy to hear her Ajju's voice and also her Ajju's bahu's .... The last few minutes before her demise, Ajai kept on repeating, "Jiji aankhein kholo". But that was not to be.
Alvida Jiji....
#motherpassesaway #94yearold #celebratinglife #weakenedbutnotdown #whowillpeelthefruits #greatgrandmother #4Gsofadifferentkind #peace #ushabhargava #eulogy #4thgeneration #livingonownterms #ghumakkadhb #ghumakkadharsh #obituary
