We Will Miss You Forever

Ring ring. 

"Is that Harsh Bhargava? Attender of Neeta Bhargava?"

"Yes, speaking. "

"Doctor from the ICU will speak to you". (You dread a call like this in the dead of the night. It was 3.30AM or so)

"Good morning Doctor."

As I mentioned last night, her condition is critical. The acid and CO2 levels in her body continue to be high. We started the dialysis but had to stop because of falling BP. We will have to put her on ventilator support. We need your consent and presence here.

"Yes, Doctor go ahead.  Am sure you all are doing your best. Am on my way."

Conversation like this - hope never happens with you.

But when it does, it seems a rug has been pulled out from under your feet.

You gather your wits.

Take out the car.

Start driving.

Pull up to inform your children.

Keep driving to the hospital.

Your mouth goes dry.

Take a swig of water.

More water.

Focus on the oncoming traffic at 3.55am in the morning.

In the ICU, you see her with so many tubes. You don't like it. She never liked it. When her mother at 94 was gradually sinking, she made sure she went away without any tubes, pipes and needles. But alas, we could not ensure it for her.

Wish you could help relieve her condition.

When did she last speak to us?

When did I last hold her hand? All through in the ambulance yesterday and in the ER till the tubes were inserted.

Despite the life support systems, she could not survive. We lost her on 20th September at 1418 hrs.

When you have been married for nearly 48 years, you become one another. And when your life partner goes away at 70, you have to learn to live on. Learn to derive strength form the memories.

Neeta was full of compassion not only for fellow human beings but also the animals, birds, plants, trees and the Environment. She touched so many lives. Condolences poured cutting across generations from around the globe. Sharing below some of the eulogies:

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हँसता हुआ नूरानी चेहरा......

   - संध्या उल्लाल , मुंबई 

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20.9.24  is  the  fateful  day, 

When,  to  the  gates  of  Heaven  Neeta  found  her  way .

     Aunty  was  there  to  receive  her  with  open  arms, 

     And  they  firmly  bonded  with  fastened  palms.

Neeta  awaited  the children's arrival  to  breathe  her  last, 

According  to  the traditions of  the  past. 

     On  Earth  Neeta  lived  a  wonderful life, 

     With  a  Husband  who  always  cared  for  his wife. 

Her  Children  and  family  were  a  fortunate  lot,

Because  they  never  had  to  yell : " forget  me  not! "

     Her  pickles  and  gifts  were  always  there, 

     As  an  expression  of  her  loving  care. 

With  family  and  friends  it  was  always  fun,  

The  joys  of  which  were  parallel  to  none. 

     Now  she  will  be  missed  by  all, 

     With  fond  memories  of  her  standing  tall.

  - Air Commodore Adip Mukherjee, Shaurya Chakra

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"Dear Harsh aka Ghummakkad- It is absolutely shocking and most unexpected that a lightning has struck your home and taken away the jewel of your life. Sitting miles away we are/were not aware of her ill health, if any, or that cropped up suddenly, and were happy to see you both doing miles and clicking away to glory. God has been unkind to you by snatching her away at an age when you were just enjoying every moment together."

   - Capt TM Subramanium Navy Veteran in USA

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मेरी श्रद्धांजलि 

बिना बताये, बिना मिले, चुपचाप जो चले जाते हैं,

याद बहुत आते हैं। 

ऐसा तो नहीं था कि हम रोज मिला करते थे,

पर चार-छै महीनों में जब भी मिलना होता था,

उसमे अपनापन तो ज़रूर होता था। 

क्या कहूँ शब्द नहीं हैं ,

तुमने क्यों फैसला कर लिया इतनी जल्दी जाने का,

कुछ साल और गुज़ार लेती हम सब के साथ तो बहुत ख़ुशी होती

लेकिन अब बहुत अफ़सोस और दुःख हो रहा है तुम्हारे जाने का।

क्यों कि बिना बताये, बिना मिले जो चले जाते हैं याद बहुत वो आते हैं। 

आज से तक़रीबन २५-२७ साल पहले मैंने तुम्हें देखा था,

हरे सूट में लम्बे लम्बे बाल खोले खड़ी थीं तुम ,

बेइन्तहा शांत, सादी और प्यारी सी लगी थीं ,

उस के बाद से एक दोस्ताना सा हो गया था। 

जो आज तक चल रहा था बिना किसी शर्त या एग्रीमेंट के। 

पर फिर भी कहूँगी ,

बिना बताये, बिना मिले जो चले जाते हैं याद बहुत वो आते हैं।

मन में अब इक ग़ुबार है 

जो गाहे-बगाहे तंग कर रहा है 

काश मैं तुमसे मिल पाती 

कुछ बातें कर पाती,

इक सहेली जो हमेशा 

Navy Foundation Meeting में 

Beating the Retreat में 

Veterans के मिलाप में 

हमेशा मुझे ढूंढती और इंतज़ार करती थीं 

अब लाऊंगी कहाँ से 

क्यों कि तुम तो बिना मिले, बिना बताये, चुप चाप ही चली गईं। 

पर याद बहुत आओगी, पर याद बहुत आओगी, पर याद बहुत आओगी। 

  - प्रेम गिरी 

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"I have admired and loved your togetherness in everyway- be it raising the kids, looking after mother, connecting with family, sharing each other's feeling and ambitions, with love and admiration, and creating a beautiful world that was open to be shared with any one seeking"

   - Savita Bhargava (86 y-o aunt in Bangalore )

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"Uncle, Roli has lost her foster mother"

   - Capt Rajveer Singh Navy Veteran

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"So sorry to hear this. My mind flashed back through all the wonderful times we have had together and the lovely person she was, amazing at all times, tough and fun."

    - Sushmita Ganguly, Principal Cathedral School Mumbai

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नीता जीजी, तुम कहाँ निकल पड़ीं 

ऐसा भी क्या, कुछ कहे बिना चली गयीं 

अभी की ही तो बात है कहा वीडियो कॉल करोगी 

हम सबसे फ़ोन पे बात करोगी।

पर बड़ी थीं, करनी थी मनमानी 

पर बड़ी थीं, करनी थी मनमानी 

निकल पड़ीं एक डगर अनजानी। 

बचपन की यादें सोशल मीडिया की कायल नहीं 

दिल में बस्ती हैं होती कभी वायरल नहीं 

वो काम को लेकर आपस में बहस करना 

घर का काम तुम्हारा बाहर का मेरा होना 

राखी बंधवाने तक भूखा रखना 

वो लहंगा पहनने के लिए ज़िद्द करना 

वो मोती बाग़ में जब तक पहुँच जाना 

अपनी पसंद का खाना बनवाना 

तो हम भाइयों के बीच तुम्हारा अकेले का रुतबा रहता 

मैं तो तुमको बहन और मित्र दोनों ही मानता 

बचपन से ही छोटी मोटी बातें मनवाता रहता 

और सही गलत छेड़ छाड़ भी करता रहता। 

नीता जीजी को अर्पित है हम सब की पुष्पांजलि 

पूरे परिवार की ओर से भावभीनी श्रद्धांजलि। 

     - संजय भार्गव , छोटा भाई  (ग़ाज़ियाबाद )

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"It is going to be hard Harsh but we all will have to live with her fond memories."

    - Suchitra Chaudhuri, Secunderabad

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"We're grieving with you as we miss our friend and sister Neeta so much -  her loving, warm and vibrant personality, her infectious, ringing laugh, her caring nature and listening ear,  her  well-known  hospitality."

    - Trixie Asirvatham, Bangalore

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"Bhabhiji was like चँद्रमा की चाँदनी as described by Mythili Sharan Gupt in his classical lines:

चारु चंद्र की चंचल किरणें 

खेल रहीं थी जल - थल में ।

स्वच्छ चांदनी बिछी हुई थी 

अवनि और अंबर तल में ।"

     - Sarita Bhargava (Neeta's देवरानी in Jaipur)

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"Dearest Aunty was too precious to me, had so many happy memories with her. We used to laugh so much together!"

   - Anita Rengaraj, USA

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"I still remember Aunty as a mother figure who was always around in my growing years. She will always be remembered"

    - Aseem Jain, Singapore

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" I have very sweet memories with her. She was our only Mausi we were so close to"

    - Smita Bhargava, Pune

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"Dear Harsh uncle, 

To me, her warmth and reassuring embrace of my mother, Devila Anand, each time that they met, equated Neeta aunty to be a mother-like figure to me as I saw that unity of love, care, ideals and support in their association. My memories of Neeta aunty supporting my Mom during her illness and showering Ajita and I with her kindness and unconditional love and support, will stay with us forever and inspire us to do good and be good to fellow beings, just like her."

   - Aditya Anand, Gurgaon

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"Will always remember Aunty in her lovely sarees and big smile. She will always hold a special place in my heart."

   - Gagan Bal, USA

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"Harsh, yours & Neeta’s friendship means  a lot to us. It’s not just the caring she had for all, but the utmost love & dedication she had for family! "

   - Lalita Aisola, USA

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"Bhua was such a beautiful soul, filled with warmth and kindness. I will always cherish the times spent with her."

    - Avantika, Secunderabad

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"I have always seen her as an epitome of grace and as an ever smiling elder. She has left a void even for people like us. We will always have fond memories of her warm smile."

    - Sona Bhatia, Hyderabad

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"She was unforgettable and will always remain that way"

     - Harsh Singh, Bengaluru

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"Her love and kindness will live on"

    - Prameela Konduru, USA

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By God's grace, Neeta provided the perfect balance in my life. Re-sharing what I wrote on her 69th birthday in May-2023. You may click the link below to browse the picture story.

Balancing Weight of Ghumakkad's Life

Going back another six years, here is another story wishing Neeta a happy 63rd birthday. Click the link below to browse the full story.

Spouse's Birthday Is Always Special

They say that the Sun never sets. But this Sun has set for me.

Adieu Neeta.

Keep smiling wherever you are.

- Neeta, Beigs (short for Begum), Motee (Hindi for fatso! Not really,  she had lost 15 kgs in last three weeks) to me,

- Mom to both the children and their spouses, 

- Dadi and Nani to all four grandchildren, 

- Bhabhi, Jiji, Bhua, Mausi to so many relatives,

- Simply Neeta to loving friends and elders,

- Madam to all her staff at home

#GoneForever #lifePartner #OneAnother #LosingTheLifePartner #Memories #DerivingStrength #NeetaBhargava #Ghumakkadhb #ghumakkadharsh #FullOfCompassion #Grandmothernomore #LifeWithoutWife